Coffee, Mountains, & Wine

I often wonder what other people use as their guiding reason for life. Is it money? Love? Family? Other mindsets or nothing at all? I ask this question because I’ve come to learn how easy it is to lose this sense of reasoning when you decide to change your life for the sake of other people, and perhaps, this is where I began to fall. Guiding reason is exactly what it sounds like. A degree of reason within yourself that ultimately focuses (or guides you) on what you truly desire out of this life.

The Dao is an Eastern school of thought that is best described as “The Way,” and I believe guiding reason falls under the same jurisdiction at least to a certain extent. In truth, no one knows what “The Way” is because it can’t be described with our tongue. There is no formulating it into words. It’s something we do because there is no other option we see. Indeed, there can be many paths to where we want to go, but it’s not the only way to get there. Likewise, there can be many guiding reasons that we use for our lives, but there is no “one guiding reason,” which is universal for all. Some prefer the self-disciplined practice of Stoicism. Others indulge in the raw nature of Nihilism and another group may practice the historical school of Confucianism. The point is that there are many different roads for you to follow, but you won’t know which one is “right” until you determine it for yourself.

As it was stated above, many people choose money as their guiding reason for life, followed by the nobler choice of family and connection, and there are even people who believe in nothing as their guiding reason for life. These people often go about their lives with no train of thought on what their life means or how they make it better or worse, but alas, this can be a guiding reason they use whether they know it or not. Ultimately, it is their guiding reason. It is their way. But in this respect, it is possible to go to the extreme under this light as I caution you to remember. Although we cannot judge how a person chooses to find their guiding reason, we must make sure that we do not intentionally harm another being for the sake of finding ourselves and our way of breathing. This I fully admit can become sticky when it comes to other people and our attempts to find our way, but when do we not harm nature whenever we decide to go for a walk over grass and its residents? Please do not mistake my words for the encouragement of harm over your fellow friends and family. I’m simply pointing to the fact that humans are meant to grow, and how is that possible if we choose to let the fruit of our life rot in the name of complacency?

When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror with the thought of how you’ve recently been living your life? What would you think of your history if you were to die tomorrow? It may sound comical when you bring it up to another person, but I believe it’s one of the reasons we no longer think of such thoughts. We have become worried about external forces and what their interpretation might be of us if we try to “get our life together.” We have lost our ability as an animal to be self-aware because we’re too concerned with the awareness of others thus losing ourselves and our sense of guiding reason. And if I’m being honest, I too, find it difficult to keep this sense of reasoning when surrounded by factors that urge you to relax after a mindless day, and other subliminal concepts like what kind of car you own or what you do as a profession. These societal norms and expectations are killers to the introspective quest of guiding reason because they deal with the external which we’ll one day leave once we’re called up to the final stage of life. But, I do not think this is all by chance. Rather, these things have been placed in front of us to test the discipline, strength, and fortitude of our character. The outside world is here to ask us if this is what we want and it is our choice to respond with the heart of a lion.

It is my personal belief that any sort of guiding reason is better than no guiding reason at all. However, I can only go so far with this notion because I cannot judge how someone chooses to live their life. Again, it is their way of living. However, I think most agree when I say that it’s better to have any sort of motivator that pushes you toward a better way of living and being human. But, if that’s true, then how do we realize our potential and guiding reason without harming the people around us?

I’m afraid there is no definite answer that points us in the right direction of how to better live our life and I will never claim to know “The Way” because I don’t think anyone does and if they do, I suggest you be wary. In reality, there is no one more capable of helping you than yourself. People can tell you what they think or what you ought to do, but it’s you who has the final say and decision on how to walk in your body. It is you who holds the trigger to your actions. This is why I ask about the last time you questioned yourself on what you were doing right or wrong in your life. This is why I encourage self-examination because we have lost and are losing the ability to exercise our mental strength. We’re substituting the vitality of reason and self for quick and easy fixes that hold the promise of how best to live your life, but I will now say it plainly for everyone to understand. The only guiding reason you ever fully need in life is within yourself. Nobody knows your way better than you and the first step towards that path is asking how and what you’re truly doing with your life.

I’ve come to realize how abstract this all may sound with no applicable steps or actions, which you can do to better your situation. Again, this is mainly because I never want to tell someone how they ought to live their life, but I will now attempt to give general prompts, questions, and ideas for you to marinate with.

How can you find your guiding reason?

• – Ask yourself what you hold true to your character and write it down
• – How can you better analyze your thoughts in a clear and concise way?
• – What is it you want out of life?
• – What is it you don’t want out of life?
• – Why do you do the things you do?
• – Read philosophical texts (The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday is a perfect example, which I’ve found to be helpful.)
• – How can you make the life you want to live?
• – What is your “Way” of living?
• – Write down your thoughts regularly in a journal